My brother man and sister woman, it is no longer a mystery love is the most necessary element for the continuation of life. Every human being feels incomplete without it. I want to make clearer, a lonely person does not and cannot represent the image of God. It is the coming together of a brother man and sister woman in a marriage that truly represents the image of God. The important question askes, can everybody truly achieve marriage status? Maybe I should briefly talk about a lady whom I intend calling Philomena. Philomena fell in love with Philip. They dated for nine years. Both of them understood themselves and Philip’s business improved tremendously because of her. They were quite compatible. Philip proposed to her and later told his mother about his intention to marry Philomena. Philip’s mother decided to investigate Philomena’s background and she found out she is a product of a broken home. Philip’s mother vehemently opposed the marriage because of that, She said over her dead body will her son marry a sister woman from a broken home. Philip’s domineering mother ensured her son got married to another lady whose parents are still together. In the end, she successfully destroyed the mental and emotional life of her son and Philomena. Three years later, Philip’s wife, his mother’s choice ran away because she went through hell in the hands of Philips.
Meanwhile, Philomena is already dating another brother man, but their relationship is not progressing and secretly she is still sexually involved with her ex-boyfriend Philips. Philips made life unbearable for his mother because he is convinced she is the one who drove Philomena away into the hands of another brother man and imposed an incompatible sister woman on him. Tons of people get rewarded with heartbreak after working strenuously to make their relationship work. It appears right now many singles are not in a hurry to enter into marriage because they’ve realized most of their contemporaries, their age mate who are married are not truly happy. The marriage institution is being looked upon as an arena where incompatible people are merged together so that they can make each other miserable on a daily basis. It appears true love is not the bound holding many marriages together. Many marriages are held together by the advice of their respective pastors, parental pressure, family elders, close allies, friends and the kids. I presume it is now obvious to everyone, including matchmaking parents that
- Quite a number of unseen forces control the marriage institution.
- A formal marriage, be it court or traditional marriage, would in no way neutralize or diminish the tensions of incompatibility caused by temperamental differences, conflicting goals or destinies.
My brother man and sister woman, no marriage is easy. This saying, he is happily married or she is happily married is often a ruse. You know we like to hide, we do. Even couples with the best intentions are sometimes unable to overcome their challenges in marriage and end up in extra-marital affairs or divorce. Marriage is truly an adventure, a journey into the unknown. Quite a number of forces control the marriage institution and I want to make clearer, prayers cannot get rid of the tensions of incompatibility caused by temperamental differences, conflicting goals or destinies. For instance, if you are married to someone whose nature is not compatible with your nature, you cannot use prayer to alter the person’s nature to become compatible with your nature. It won’t work, you rather endure or file for divorce. Many divorcees will agree with me on this. All their best efforts which of course included prayers, to change their erring partner’s nature amounted to nihility, amounted to nothing.
SPIRITUAL CAUSES OF MATRIMONIAL PROBLEMS
My brother man and sister woman, the moment has come to shed light on the spiritual causes of fiasco marriages. I am going to harp on
- Matrimonial problems arising from starvation of the inner bodies.
- Matrimonial problems arising from incompatible soul mates.
MATRIMONIAL PROBLEMS ARISING FROM STARVATION OF THE INNER BODIES
Let me straightway commence with matrimonial problems arising from starvation of the inner bodies. A human being is a sevenfold creature, however, the most important bodies we function with on planet earth are the physical body, the emotional body, and the mental body. You use your physical body to carry out physical activities, you use your astral body to express your emotions, and you use your mental body to think. Your soul makes use of your physical, emotional and mental bodies to enable it to function properly on planet earth.
For as we have many members in one body and all members have not the same office”.
True and lasting marriage simply means, there must be a merging together on all the three levels of consciousness. For a brother man and a sister woman to be truly and happily married, they must complement each other in all the three departments of their nature. There must be a simultaneous union of all the three bodies, namely physical, emotional and mental, if not the marriage must eventually collapse. For a marriage to work almost perfectly without interventions and word of advice from family members and close friends, there must be mating, full interaction between the unseen bodies of the couples, if any of the invisible bodies which have arrived at a functioning state is left unattended to, be rest assured the marriage will be incomplete, there will be misery, and there will be social disorder.
Now imagine a situation where the husband’s mental level is high and his wife’s mental level is low, the level of argumentation that will take place between them might eventually collapse the marriage. You will find the husband always complaining bitterly, my wife’s level of reasoning is so low she is so unreasonable and we virtually disagree on most things I don’t know what led me into this kind of marriage. In such a situation, the wife cannot complement the mental body of her husband. Now imagine a situation where the wife’s emotional nature is high and the husband’s emotional nature is low, but his mental nature is very high. Such a husband will severely starve the emotional nature of his wife. He will never bother about her emotional needs, he is more interested in providing her financial needs, take care of the kids as a mother and I will be back in a week or two. If she is not a virtuous wife, she might start dating someone secretly who will take care of her emotional needs.
Of a truth I tell you, all your invisible bodies are not functioning equally at the same time, they reach maturity at different stages, in fact at different ages. Now hear this, if the second invisible body of the husband is functioning, his wife’s second invisible body should also be functioning so that mating can take place between their second invisible bodies, however, if his wife’s second invisible body is not functioning at all, be rest assured there will be problem or problems in the marriage. In the same vein, if the husband’s second invisible body is functioning and his wife’s own is not functioning at all, eventually problems must manifest in the marriage. In the same vein, my brother man and sister woman, disaster will occur in a marriage if a brother man with three functioning bodies is married to a sister woman with only two functioning bodies. Husband with three functioning bodies’ means his physical body is active, also he is a passionate and very emotional person. Wife with two functioning bodies means her physical body is active and she is a passionate person. This clearly means his wife has no conception of married life beyond passion and physical gratification. That is a problem. Also, her husband’s third body will definitely starve and suffer because his wife’s third body is not functioning. In the same vein my brother man and sister woman if a brother man with functioning four bodies is married to a sister woman with functioning three bodies, his wife might enjoy a happy married because her three functioning bodies will be adequately taken care of by three functioning bodies of her husband, but she cannot take care of her husband’s fourth body because her fourth body is not functioning and that is a problem. Her husband mental aspect will suffer and he might seek an intellectual sister woman to take care of his starving mental body and from there one thing might lead to another. My brother man and sister woman, society is replete with failed marriages because of the following reasons
1. The marriage of two physical bodies and nothing else.
2. Marriage of the emotional natures of two people and nothing else.
3. The union of the physical body of one party, with the physical body of the other party, left cold, indifferent and uninvolved.
4. Marriage in which the mental body is involved with the physical body, with un-involvement of the emotional body.
My brother man and sister woman, let me outline some of the matrimonial problems emanating from starvation of the inner bodies
1. For several months sexual activity between husband and wife will not take place. They will gladly stay apart from each other emotionally.
2. The wife emotionally withdraws from her husband and might indulge in extra-marital affair or lesbianism or perhaps sleep with her driver or houseboy. In the end she might say, I don’t know what came over me.
3. The husband will equally indulge in extra-marital affair to take care of his starving emotional nature.
As you are well aware, sexual intercourse is an important part of marriage. If it is absent, expect the unexpected. Is that all? No that is not all. Disharmony in the inner bodies of husband and wife often gives birth to disinterestedness, staying aloof from each other and abuse problems. They are all inter-related. Disinterestedness is a gargantuan reason why marriages fail, the Husband is no longer interested in his wife. Eventually, the wife might notice and exhibit disinterestedness. You know what that means don’t you? Time spent apart and spent together are very important for maintaining a good marriage relationship. But a lot of time spent alone without the other party puts a lot of stress on a marriage.
Disharmony in the inner bodies often separates couples. One party feels much better staying aloof from the other. Lastly physical and verbal abuse are often the causes of a marital breakdown. Many a time, the husband feels much better ramming and verbally abusing his wife. All these emanate from disharmony in the inner bodies of husband and wife. My brother man and sister woman, true marriage is all about being connected physically, emotionally and mentally as a whole. If one is lacking, the remaining two are equally affected.
MATRIMONIAL PROBLEMS ARISING FROM INCOMPATIBLE SOULMATES
The moment has come to shed light on matrimonial problems arising from incompatible soulmates. When people can longer put up with themselves and perhaps file for divorce, we often hear irreconcilable differences as the reason for the fiasco marriage. I think the right word is an incompatible soulmate. I had a private conversation with a sister woman who divorced and remarried three years later. She was hysterically happy, maybe for her, the divorce gave her joy and a new beginning. She told me all along, in her previous failed marriage, she had always felt she is with the wrong person. She is with the husband of another sister woman she said right now, her new husband is a much better person than her previous husband. How right was she? I want to make clearer, quite a number of people are married to the husbands and wives of other people. It is not easy to cope with a soul that is not compatible with your soul.
Of a truth I tell you, we have six types of soul-mates, they are termed primary soul-mates, task companionship, companion soul-mates, false twins, twin flames and lastly karmic soulmates.
Out of the six types of soul-mates, the highest of them all and the most difficult to come in contact with is twin flame. When you come in contact with your twin flame, which is your true half, no material condition can prevent you from becoming one with the person despite what people might say to discourage you, in your innermost being you know that this is the right person for you. Of a truth I tell you if a brother man is a primary soul-mate, he is not marriage material. He may never propose. Primary soul-mate should be seen as a close family friend and helper. In the same vein, marriage to a task companion soulmate will not last. The moment they accomplish their positive mission in the marriage, the marriage will collapse because of the feeling of emptiness in the marriage. It is positive karma that brought both of them together to accomplish a certain task. Of a truth, I tell you aside twin flame soul-mate which is the highest, companion soul-mate is another good marriage material. Companion soulmate is supportive, respectful, and affectionate. Husband and wife will be very compatible with similar likes and dislikes. In the same vein my brother man and sister woman, there is a false twin soul mate. Such a person might appear to be your original missing half because you will feel so happy, you will feel so fulfilled with the person because he or she might possess all the attributes your innermost being admires much later in marriage, you will realize the person is a false twin. In the same vein, karmic soulmates are the lowest, the most common and the most turbulent. Karma is all about merit and demerit. Life is all about sowing and reaping.
Of a truth, I tell you, marriage is controlled by karmic law beyond the scope of the conscious mind. Karma is so active in the marriage institution. At the appointed time, those who have karma to be worked out in marriage will be joined together in marriage. Often the power which brings them together in marriage is irresistible and beyond their control. Of a truth, I tell you when you sincerely make someone happy or give peace to them, you attract to yourself the atoms of merit karma and because of your merit karma, quite a number of things will go according to your wishes. When you do evilness, you attract to yourself demerit karma. In a karmic- soul-mates marriage you are so attracted to each other, both of you find it difficult to let go of each other even though the marriage is chaotic and full of strife. Karmic-soul mate’s marriage is a marriage of paying off karmic debts. This is indeed sowing and reaping marriage, such is the way of karma. I want you to bear this important point in mind.
Normally souls are magically drawn together in marriage to work out, with each other. Karma which can only be discharged in this way, the marriage will equally be used to provide human bodies for incoming who also have karmic links with either or both parents.
Karmic marriage is the most turbulent. Karmic marriage simply means you have married the wrong person, you are married to the punisher, the marriage is all about constant argument, physical and verbal abuse, shrinking responsibilities, lack of intimacy, lack of equality, etc. In the end karmic-soul mate’s marriages often collapses, after they are through with the issues that brought them together. Our elder brother man Paul was right after all when he said God is not mocked; we must eventually reap whatever is sowed by us.