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My brother man and sister woman true love requires that we see and accept and respect those we love for who they are and we must not project or impose our fantasies upon them. Difficult isn’t it? It is because most of us try to fit those we love into our imaginary pictures of love.

We want to turn those we love into a Robocop. For instance, most brother men crave to be attached to a sister woman they can absolutely control, brother men like these fail to realize a dominating relationship does not represent the image of God or image of love. Of a truth I tell you, I have heard brother men advising one another, get a young inexperienced and vulnerable sister woman, whom they can absolutely control as a wife, a sister woman who considers him as the lord and master.

Brother men like these fail to realize they will only make their lives harder as a result. Brother men like these fail to realize two heads are better than one, they don’t want a sister woman that will engage them. I have said it once, this is twice a relationship of dominance does not represent the image of God or the image of love.

My brother man and sister woman, of a truth I tell you it is only when two lovers give each other and help each other within a relationship of mutual respect and inclusiveness can they truly receive the gift of love. Dominating husbands and dominating wives, dominating lovers, I want you to bear in mind, true love is not achieved through domination. True love is all about appreciation of each other’s unique strengths; it’s all about mutual respect.

You cannot overcome loneliness and achieve true love if you are looking for someone who is subordinate to you and has no mind of his or her own. The other party you claim to be in love with is your helpmate and not your house boy or house girl. I am aware of a sister woman who got married and for more than seven years her husband who is well off, working in an oil company said, she must do nothing aside sitting at home and taking care of the kids.

However in her innermost being, she wants to do business, she truly wants to do something to support her husband, he said no. He doesn’t want his wife to mingle with outsiders in the name of doing business. As far as I am concerned this sister woman is in bondage because her husband fails to offer her an environment in which she can develop her unique sense of who she is. True love means, the husband must open up space within him to include his wife and the same applies to the wife.

 True love means, we are one, yet not one and the same because we are different types of human beings. True love means we are one, yet not one and the same. I can include you in my life, you can include me in my life, and thereby fulfilling the biblical injunction, of the two shall become one flesh. True love, therefore, is all about inclusiveness, two people appearing to share a single identity and yet at the same time, they are not one and the same.

 My brother man and sister woman the mystery of true marriage is the two shall become one flesh yet they remain two. The husband does not try to pocket his wife and his wife does not try to pocket her husband. The two shall become one flesh yet they remain two.

True love, true marriage is all about the coming together of two entirely different people, possessing different characters, now doing the work of getting to know each other, making space to include each other, help each other and in the end become one flesh.  I just don’t know why most of us find it difficult to leave certain things in their pristine order.

If you peruse the holy bible closely, you will agree with me the Almighty God did not create a sister woman to become a house girl to her husband, the Almighty God created a sister woman to be someone who will, in a very positive, respective way, will stand opposite him and engage him on parallel ground.

I wish to call to mind, in the book of Genesis, the Almighty God told Abraham, in all that Sarah had said unto you, harken unto her voice. But right now, most husbands are not prepared to harken to the voice of their wives. Also like Sarah, Rebecca, the wife of Isaac could hardly be described as subordinate to her husband; also Jacob did not dominate his two wives, Rachael and Leah.

So you see my brother man and sister woman the two truly do not become one flesh, neither do we have the oneness that reflects the image of God until within us we make space to include another and allow another to do the same. True love, therefore, is not a piece of cake, true love is not easy to achieve. 

Take my word seriously, true love is not easy to achieve, but it is easy to fall in love. Of a truth I tell you a brother man who fell in love in a big restaurant once told me, while I was eating in a restaurant, my eyes came in contact with a cute lady on the other end of the restaurant.

Her eyes equally caught mine and all of a sudden, we were exchanging glances and became lovers at first sight. I left my seat and went and sat close to her, we spoke to each other and there was this beautiful love song at the background and we fell in love. He said the same day, he took her home, eventually, they jump into bed, and there they did express the love they felt for each other.

I want to make clearer, sexual attraction alone is not the foundation upon which you can build a relationship. My brother man and sister woman, falling in love can truly be intoxication, falling in love often means losing control, falling in love brings about superficial oneness that often gives birth to serious problems.

Of a truth, I tell you a lot of very unfortunate things have happened in the name of falling in love. I want to make clearer; there is a vast difference between falling in love and real love. Real love is a process of getting to know somebody. You must truly get to know somebody because, how can you make a big space inside of you to include the person if you don’t know who the person is? If you just met a person, you cannot instantly begin to know who the person is.

Indeed you might even spend a great deal of time with someone over long periods of time and you still do not truly know the person. Of a truth, I tell you, real love has got to start with a sense of respect. For instance, if you are a sister woman, you can’t love a brother man if you don’t respect him and to respect him, you must know who he is.

When you know him, you become sensitive to his feelings and you realize when you have hurt him and then you know when to say, I am sorry. Building a relationship is hard and I want you to bear in mind, real love happens only after there is a commitment.

Real love is a nurturing process; you are nurturing a broken vessel. It takes enormous strength to do that. It is interesting to note everybody wants to be happy, now what is the key to happiness? It is making sure your actions are in accordance with your principles, for instance in a particular situation if you know the appropriate guiding principle is kindness and yet you decide to act in a cruel manner, what are you doing? You are betraying yourself.

If in another situation, you know that the appropriate guiding principle should be self-control and yet you lose control, it simply means you are fragmenting yourself and you will not be happy. Therefore to achieve happiness, your principles should guide and direct all your activities. Your activities should always synchronize with your principles.


2 Responses

  1. So much wisdom and truth you’ve spoken teaching and guiding me to be tender and sensitive, to commit with patience and respect thus true love becomes a reality. Allowing my principles to guide me is something I’ve failed at so many times, yet you clearly make sense to me and I am grateful.

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