It is no longer a mystery life is all about love. It makes no difference whether your love life is relatively okay or in turmoil, the truth remains life is all about love. Love keeps us going, pushing us through life; it is a powerful motivating force that keeps us alive. You eat well, you sleep well, you dress well and life is worth living because you know somebody loves and cares. Every brother-man and sister-woman yearns to love and be loved because life is all about love.

Of a truth, I tell you there is a vast difference between falling in love and true love. True love is a process of truly getting to know somebody. You must truly get to know somebody because, how can you make a big space inside of you to include the person if you don’t know who the person is? Indeed, you might even spend a great deal of time with someone over long periods and you still do not truly know the person. I want tomake it clearer that love is a journey and not a final destination. We all are well aware failed marriages are commonplace today and you know why? We are imperfect and most marriages, therefore, cannot be perfect in our equally imperfect world.

Love is not something most of us will be able to achieve; it is a journey and not a final destination. I believe most people don’t truly understand the book of Genesis because if they do, they will truly know that human beings who are the embodiment of imperfections are equally residing in an imperfect world.

My brother man and sister woman, true love requires that we see and accept and respect those we love for who they are and we must not project or impose our fantasies upon them. Difficult isn’t it? It is because most of us try to fit those we love into our imaginary pictures of love.

What does true love entail?

True love is like hugging, what do you do when you hug another person? With your arms, you create a space to include the other person. Of course, you must create a space in such a manner that allows the other person the freedom of opening his or her arms to include your own. True love means becoming one with another person and at
the same time detached from that person.

True love cannot become your portion if you are self-centred because, to love, you must withdraw from yourself to create adequate space for the other party. What we call love truly starts when you move out of the way in order to make room for another person in your life.

True love is all about appreciation of each other’s unique strengths; it’s all about mutual respect. My brother man and sister woman, the mystery of true marriage is the two shall become one flesh yet they remain two. The husband does not try to pocket his wife and his wife does not try to pocket her husband. The two shall become one flesh yet they remain two.

True love means, the husband must open up space within him to include his wife and the same applies to the wife. True love means, we are one, yet not the same because we are different types of human beings. I can include you in my life, you can include me in my life, and thereby fulfilling the biblical injunction, of the two shall become one flesh.
True love, therefore, is all about inclusiveness, two people appearing to share a single identity and yet at the same time, they are not the same.

True love, true marriage is all about the coming together of two entirely different people, possessing different characters, now doing the work of getting to know each other, making space to include each other, helping each other and in the end becoming one flesh. I just don’t know why most of us find it difficult to leave certain things in their pristine order.

Of a truth, I tell you kindness and justice are the components of love. Kindness has to do with giving yourself to the one you love. You are telling the one you love, what is mine, is yours, without conditions. In the same vein, justice which is a component of love is all about respecting the one you love, his or her individuality, position, and
possession. It means you are telling the person you love, what is mine is yours and what is yours is yours.

True love has to start with a sense of respect. For instance, if you are a sister woman, you can’t love a brother man if you don’t respect him and to respect him, you must know who he is. When you know him, you become sensitive to his feelings and you realize when you have hurt him and then you know when to say, I am sorry. Building a relationship is hard and I want you to bear in mind, real love happens only after there is a commitment.

All of this chatter about genuine love should not make you frantic to find someone to shower your love on or someone to shower you with love; instead, if you focus on sincerely loving yourself, your other half will find a way to gravitate towards you because we are here to improve ourselves while also striving to improve our imperfect planet.